Body Love is big talk in today’s world.
We are slowly but steadily coming to the understanding that it is MORE than okay to love our body just the way it is. Voices of Positive Body Image over fake and airbrushed body image is growing louder.
The question still lies however exactly what is Body Love?
There are so many ways I could try and answer this, words not quite matching up to how it feels to finally be in love with body, scars, stretch marks, cellulite, ageing … all part of not just my story but my body story too. For everywhere I have been, my body struggled through that, with no demand for recognition or gratitude. A silent “victim” built of tender flesh and bones, that I now proudly call home.
When we look at young children, the question is more easily answered.
These little beings fill up the whole of their body.
They have not yet been burdened with shame.
They have not yet compared themselves to others.
Or had a single thought that all that they are is not enough, loveable or acceptable.
They meet us “ta da” in their sun shine wholeness. Their smiles reaching their eyes!
Nothing standing in between you and them, them and the world.
They move in joy. With untamed pleasure.
They approach their body with curiosity and wonder. Delight.
They exude ALIVENESS!
All living things grow when loved. A child, a plant, an animal … and yet we expect our bodies to flourish under the second hand treatment we reluctantly give it.
Poking at bits here and there, squeezing into shapes unnatural to us, chopping bits off, adding things on … diets galore.
Comparing ours to his or hers.
Punishing exercise to tone this or enlarge that.
Not to mention the inner dialogue of which we would not dream of talking to another, in such critical ways.
Improve is the message we give our bodies. You will be perfect when …
Body Love is creating a relationship with our body, with as much care, time, consideration, gentleness and respect as we would in creating a relationship with our lovers, our children, our relatives.
A relationship that is irrespective of how we look, our gender, size or age.
Notice I say relationship.
We take time to relate … to listen, to act upon our body’s needs, to connect with our body from the inside out rather than outside in
Recreating the f**ked up idea, that our body is some “thing” that gets us from A to B,
that carries our head around,
that has to look hot, sexy, young, firm to attract …
and that we can use and abuse at will.
Our body is our home. The one and only place in the world that we can truly rest and be in.
In love our body can naturally takes it’s shape, it radiates health, our skin glows … love enables our body to flourish.
We allow space for our unique beauty to be natural. Our fragrance in the world.
Our life around us, our relationships are enriched through the simplicity of showing up as our whole being, in ownership of all its cracks and edges.
Body love is not simply knowing your body as sacred but feeling your body as sacred.
A desire to want to know it more deeply, to love it more …
It is a beautiful sight to see someone in love with their body, the grace in which they move, the ease of their presence and how to be near them feels effortlessly intimate and REAL.
Beginning an exploration of body love after years of absorbing bullshit as truth, takes patience, kindness and most essentially the understanding that as the layers of shame, regret, trauma loosen their grip, there will be tears of past hurts with life changing breakthroughs of celebration and joy.
It is a daily choice from the start to show up for self and listen.
To choose with a fiery passion to to be who you are, in the world. No longer some pale shadow of or altered version.
Our relationship of love with our body has nothing to do with confidence, this is a facade that we learn. We are taught how to show up and present ourselves in the world to get that job, that partner, that chance.
Confidence wavers … depending on how we feel, how we look, our mood that day, our interactions with others, how we are “received by others” … Even our current situations.
But love … Body love is always there. Unconditionally. No matter what. ❤️